Depression

[Negamuse]

Been unmedicated for close to a year now for various reasons and though I wouldnt recommend it at all - for my particular case when Ive got other shit going on that I needed to work through it seems to be going Ok. The meds were dulling. Rounded off the peaks and troughs but I couldnt think through the cloud. The last year has been spent being more honest with myself and my wife and maybe cos Im getting older, maybe cos of the shit going on in the world Im starting to realise whats important.

Sorry to vaguepost. Ive got some tough times coming that are going to test me. But for once Im looking at the future with some kind of plan rather than mourning lost time with regret. Its never too late while you have breath in your lungs and loved ones who love you back.

[Cupz]

Amen!

[Aerial Boundaries]

The reason I haven't been present recently on these forums is because I have had partial hearing loss and tinnitus (ringing in your ears.)

It has been going on for a few months now, and just added to my mounting depression and anxiety. I have had depression for a long time and it gets better and worse, but I think until a few days ago I was at the lowest point I'd been since I was about 7 or 8 years old (that is a story for another time and place though.)

I have finally been diagnosed with Eustachian tube dysfunction, which fits all my symptoms including the extreme, nauseating dizziness I have been experiencing for the past week. It is an inflammation of the tube that connects the sinuses to the inner ear, causes unequal pressure on either side of the ear drum.

You know what the cure is? A steroid nasal spray. Once a day.

It is almost comical to think that the line between feeling like I am dying (literally, as the dizziness makes you feel like you are falling falling falling), and being back to normal(ish), is a NASAL SPRAY.

I am slowly feeling better, but this whole ordeal has taught me to really respect my ears as they are probably my most important sensory organ. And you only get one pair. It doesn't help that compared to something like the eyes, modern medicine is pretty awful when it comes to hearing loss and tinnitus.

I am not sure if I did this to my self, as I used to listen at excessive volume, but regardless I would suggest to all music lovers to really treat their own ears with respect. And for god sakes wear ear plugs to loud concerts!

Aside from that, my job still sucks balls and I am lonely. But I have a few weeks paid sick leave courtesy of the doc, which I desperately need anyway. Plus he gave me a short, mild regime of diazepam for a week which is awesome. I do so love benzos, they are like alcohol without the nasty side effects. And very, very addictive for me... So I better be cautious with those ones.

So yeah, life goes on. Nice to see you guys

[2020k]

I HATE WINTER DEPRESSION.

[Cupz]

winter is almost over, hang in there. Then its time for

SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!SPRING!!!

*jumps in the air throwing flowers*

[arvy]

I think that nothing happens for no reason, if you sometimes feeling bad, you have to try to find that thought or feeling that cause you that bad mood and if you search enough you will find it, and deal with it.

[Mexicola]

I've held back from posting in this thread, but just wanted so add something. Arvy is right to a point, in that there are usually triggers that cause anxiety and depression. However, sometimes it can be very difficult to see those clearly when caught in the maelstrom of emotions and adrenalin. If you feel lost, like things have gotten too much, please, seek professional help from your doctor. Thankfully, this horrible condition is now taken much more seriously and they can and will help and with a sympathetic ear too. CBT is well worth the effort, as is Mindfulness (look it up). I'm fighting my own demons at the moment, something some of you know, many of you don't. If anyone ever wants to know more about these treatments in confidence, PM me and I'll give you the benefit of my experience.

Good luck all of you

[Mexicola]

But contrary to the idea of karma, many things do happen for no reason. Always remember, the universe is not so much hostile, as indifferent

[arvy]

Agree with Mexicola. Wish you all best of luck!

[arvy]

Also I think that happines and child-like wonder of this world is our prime state, everyday in life is a gift.

[Mexicola]

Amen to that. Well said Arvy.

[Negamuse]

I went on a series of trips last year to places I went as a child and remembred being happy in. I didnt recapture that sense of wonder as i hoped but it did make thinking about what I needed to do to get happy more obvious.

[arvy]

Sometimes I feel I couldn't be happy more, it depends on simple things actually, the most important that I keep my soul and let myself dream, also when people understand me, unhappy when someone try to limit me from those things, I think the laziness and fear is the biggest enemies, it's one thing actually.

[d e n]

The reason I haven't been present recently on these forums is because I have had partial hearing loss and tinnitus (ringing in your ears.)

It has been going on for a few months now, and just added to my mounting depression and anxiety. I have had depression for a long time and it gets better and worse, but I think until a few days ago I was at the lowest point I'd been since I was about 7 or 8 years old (that is a story for another time and place though.)

I have finally been diagnosed with Eustachian tube dysfunction, which fits all my symptoms including the extreme, nauseating dizziness I have been experiencing for the past week. It is an inflammation of the tube that connects the sinuses to the inner ear, causes unequal pressure on either side of the ear drum.

You know what the cure is? A steroid nasal spray. Once a day.

It is almost comical to think that the line between feeling like I am dying (literally, as the dizziness makes you feel like you are falling falling falling), and being back to normal(ish), is a NASAL SPRAY.

I am slowly feeling better, but this whole ordeal has taught me to really respect my ears as they are probably my most important sensory organ. And you only get one pair. It doesn't help that compared to something like the eyes, modern medicine is pretty awful when it comes to hearing loss and tinnitus.

I am not sure if I did this to my self, as I used to listen at excessive volume, but regardless I would suggest to all music lovers to really treat their own ears with respect. And for god sakes wear ear plugs to loud concerts!

yo, i've recently experience uneven pressure in my ears and it is no doubt aggravated by loud volume. i play a lot of live music and have started to feel this... the ears are no doubt the most important sensory organ to me––this taste of what abusing (i've been conscious of this cherishing my ear for a while and have made the effort to not listen too loudly, even so when you play music so much its so easy to get caught up in loud environments) one's ears feel like I've started to take even more detailed and conscious care of them... starting to look into molded ear plugs that keep sound frequencies transparent (where as foam plugs will muffle sound, I find that some rolled up tissue or toilet paper works well at cutting out the high frequencies while still keeping sound transparent).

Also, I recommend looking into getting a Netti Pot... you put distilled water and a certain kind of salt available at any pharmacy and flush out your sinuses through your nose. I've found this is slowly bringing my ears back to equilibrium. It is often used by deep sea divers whose ears are always subject to intense changes in pressure...


just remember that if My Bloody Valentine are still making records and touring that our ears can heal...

[Aerial Boundaries]

The reason I haven't been present recently on these forums is because I have had partial hearing loss and tinnitus (ringing in your ears.)

It has been going on for a few months now, and just added to my mounting depression and anxiety. I have had depression for a long time and it gets better and worse, but I think until a few days ago I was at the lowest point I'd been since I was about 7 or 8 years old (that is a story for another time and place though.)

I have finally been diagnosed with Eustachian tube dysfunction, which fits all my symptoms including the extreme, nauseating dizziness I have been experiencing for the past week. It is an inflammation of the tube that connects the sinuses to the inner ear, causes unequal pressure on either side of the ear drum.

You know what the cure is? A steroid nasal spray. Once a day.

It is almost comical to think that the line between feeling like I am dying (literally, as the dizziness makes you feel like you are falling falling falling), and being back to normal(ish), is a NASAL SPRAY.

I am slowly feeling better, but this whole ordeal has taught me to really respect my ears as they are probably my most important sensory organ. And you only get one pair. It doesn't help that compared to something like the eyes, modern medicine is pretty awful when it comes to hearing loss and tinnitus.

I am not sure if I did this to my self, as I used to listen at excessive volume, but regardless I would suggest to all music lovers to really treat their own ears with respect. And for god sakes wear ear plugs to loud concerts!

yo, i've recently experience uneven pressure in my ears and it is no doubt aggravated by loud volume. i play a lot of live music and have started to feel this... the ears are no doubt the most important sensory organ to me––this taste of what abusing (i've been conscious of this cherishing my ear for a while and have made the effort to not listen too loudly, even so when you play music so much its so easy to get caught up in loud environments) one's ears feel like I've started to take even more detailed and conscious care of them... starting to look into molded ear plugs that keep sound frequencies transparent (where as foam plugs will muffle sound, I find that some rolled up tissue or toilet paper works well at cutting out the high frequencies while still keeping sound transparent).

Also, I recommend looking into getting a Netti Pot... you put distilled water and a certain kind of salt available at any pharmacy and flush out your sinuses through your nose. I've found this is slowly bringing my ears back to equilibrium. It is often used by deep sea divers whose ears are always subject to intense changes in pressure...


just remember that if My Bloody Valentine are still making records and touring that our ears can heal...

Mate thank you for this post.

It has been really tough lately in that regard, and the nasal spray didn't do shite.

I'll look into the netti pot, I've heard about them before but brushed it off as pseudo science. Will do some research on it.

[FortonServices]

I've held back from posting in this thread, but just wanted so add something. Arvy is right to a point, in that there are usually triggers that cause anxiety and depression. However, sometimes it can be very difficult to see those clearly when caught in the maelstrom of emotions and adrenalin. If you feel lost, like things have gotten too much, please, seek professional help from your doctor. Thankfully, this horrible condition is now taken much more seriously and they can and will help and with a sympathetic ear too. CBT is well worth the effort, as is Mindfulness (look it up). I'm fighting my own demons at the moment, something some of you know, many of you don't. If anyone ever wants to know more about these treatments in confidence, PM me and I'll give you the benefit of my experience.

Good luck all of you

CBT and mindfulness pretty much saved my life a few years ago. This man speaks the truth.

[FortonServices]

Weirdly enough, I actually use BoC (and other electronic music) as a form of mediation/mindfulness I think. For a long time, if something was distressing me mentally I would put on some depressing music as I related to it. My absolute rock bottom was accompanied by Elliott Smith, a man who's songs were so unbelievably sad and vulnerable, it's almost unbearable.

But I've found with BoC, as there are no lyrics as such, but lots of weird little hidden things and subtleties, I can really focus on it, as I would a book or a film, and forget about feelings for a while. Sure, there are feelings of hope or sadness or paranoia in their music, but it's not explicitly there in the form of words, so it allows itself to be explored, rather than spelling out exactly how you should be feeling.

Sorry if none of that makes sense. Hangover.

[RVeldhuis]

I understand you man, when I'm depressed/feeling down I always listen to more depressing music, like I find music that suits my mood.



I had that yesterday with Olson. That song is so fucking emotional to me. Sometimes when you're hungover the music sounds even better too.

[FortonServices]

When I'm hungover it's gotta be old Tom Waits. Not the ones where he's shouting and banging on a box, the ones from the 70's where he's a drunk guy with a piano. Tom UNDERSTANDS the hangover. He's been there.

[louise]

theres something i dont get about depression. ive taken medication for it before a few times. but what i dont understand is this. i feel really intensely down and tearful, and i have done for months, but i also havent slept properly for months and other situations going on now would make anyone feel like shit, not just me. like...if theres reasons why you feel like shit, like bereavements and ongoing stress etc, and depression hasnt just appeared without any reason, should you just wait for yourself to come out of it? should you draw the line somewhere? is it normal in a way to feel like that in the first place?