Depression
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- Eagle Minded
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is there hope for someone who has felt lonely ever since she can remember? whose life becomes more meaningless every day because she misses all the basic things a human being needs to experience 'meaning'? who is always searching for 'home' but has, after 25 years, still not found it and starts to believe that it might not exist at all? is there hope or should she just give up..?
expect nothing and live frugally on surprise.
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- Sherbet Head
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- Nova Scotia Robot
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TheSilenceEchoes wrote:is there hope for someone who has felt lonely ever since she can remember? whose life becomes more meaningless every day because she misses all the basic things a human being needs to experience 'meaning'? who is always searching for 'home' but has, after 25 years, still not found it and starts to believe that it might not exist at all? is there hope or should she just give up..?
Never give up my dear. It's fighting on that helps give us our meaning. To persist despite difficulty.
Home exists. You will find it eventually, but it may take some time. Never stop looking, although it may be hard at times to continue. It's out there. In the mean time keep expressing yourself, you're a very talented artist. Take comfort in music. A big reason I like Boards of Canada is because it calms me down and brings me to a safe place where I can feel 'at home'. Use the music, it helps. Even if the help is only temporary. There's always hope. Here's hoping things turn around for you.
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- Sherbet Head
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Man, I try to stay happy, but sometimes I feel like I eat disappointment for breakfast.
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- Nova Scotia Robot
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ninetyoneplus wrote:Man, I try to stay happy, but sometimes I feel like I eat disappointment for breakfast.
Hang in there man, you're not alone.
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- Dayvan Cowboy
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i've struggled with depression for many years, and i thought i'd take some time to write down some thoughts which have proven to be very effective for me.
p - e - r - c - e - p - t - i - o - n
1. realize you can overcome your depression.
this is often the hardest thing to achieve. a lot of people are convinced that they cannot get better. that conviction is a huge brick wall blocking success from them. you cannot begin to succeed until you believe that you WILL succeed.
2. fake it till you make it. it's all about self talk.
basically, act like you're not depressed. do this around as many people as possible. laugh. have fun. enjoy things. forget your worries. do not sit in your room all day. once you start to convince your friends that you aren't depressed, you'll start to convince yourself. it's all mind games.
3. be productive and active
remain active, especially outdoors. this is a very effective component to combating depression. write music, write poetry. keep a journal. it's important to get your feelings out. write well of yourself in your journal.
4. be content and thankful in any given moment.
this means not only to be content for the food you ate this morning. it also means, be content for who you are, your supposed flaws and insecurities, your shortcomings, your mistakes. realize that you are accepted despite these, because you are, and you surely have friends who will attest to that. remain aware of your gifts. keep notes of the compliments you receive.
5. surround yourself with positive, light-hearted things. change your self-perception, because perception is everything.
don't listen to depressing, sad music, as many depressed people find themselves doing. listen to shitty ska music or something. watch comedies, stay away from horror movies or dark dramas. remember, the key is to encourage your mind to change its self-perception. once you perceive yourself as being a positive person, and not depressed, you will BE positive and not depressed.
6. minor things make major differences.
sit up straight. speak with conviction. walk tall. life is not easy for anyone. it is those who can bite the bullet, suck it up during difficult times, let go of their pride, and live outwardly that succeed.
7. enjoy, love, and respect yourself.
stop making choices that you know are wrong. perform random acts of kindness to others. treat yourself as if you are valuable, because you are.
8. remain constantly aware of the power of vision (future vision)
what is possible without vision? nothing. no progress has been made by any human or any group of humans without vision. look into the future and see yourself in a positive light. shed those negative images or fears of what you might become. replace your future visions with successful, positive onces.
9. draw inspiration from positive role models, and BE a positive inspiration to those around you.
you have the power to affect your own personality, and those of others. keep in the back of your mind images of positive people who you know personally, people who inspire you to act with strength or courage. not only that, but be a positive inspiration to those around you. be a role model for them. the pore positive energy you put out, the more you will draw in.
p - e - r - c - e - p - t - i - o - n
1. realize you can overcome your depression.
this is often the hardest thing to achieve. a lot of people are convinced that they cannot get better. that conviction is a huge brick wall blocking success from them. you cannot begin to succeed until you believe that you WILL succeed.
2. fake it till you make it. it's all about self talk.
basically, act like you're not depressed. do this around as many people as possible. laugh. have fun. enjoy things. forget your worries. do not sit in your room all day. once you start to convince your friends that you aren't depressed, you'll start to convince yourself. it's all mind games.
3. be productive and active
remain active, especially outdoors. this is a very effective component to combating depression. write music, write poetry. keep a journal. it's important to get your feelings out. write well of yourself in your journal.
4. be content and thankful in any given moment.
this means not only to be content for the food you ate this morning. it also means, be content for who you are, your supposed flaws and insecurities, your shortcomings, your mistakes. realize that you are accepted despite these, because you are, and you surely have friends who will attest to that. remain aware of your gifts. keep notes of the compliments you receive.
5. surround yourself with positive, light-hearted things. change your self-perception, because perception is everything.
don't listen to depressing, sad music, as many depressed people find themselves doing. listen to shitty ska music or something. watch comedies, stay away from horror movies or dark dramas. remember, the key is to encourage your mind to change its self-perception. once you perceive yourself as being a positive person, and not depressed, you will BE positive and not depressed.
6. minor things make major differences.
sit up straight. speak with conviction. walk tall. life is not easy for anyone. it is those who can bite the bullet, suck it up during difficult times, let go of their pride, and live outwardly that succeed.
7. enjoy, love, and respect yourself.
stop making choices that you know are wrong. perform random acts of kindness to others. treat yourself as if you are valuable, because you are.
8. remain constantly aware of the power of vision (future vision)
what is possible without vision? nothing. no progress has been made by any human or any group of humans without vision. look into the future and see yourself in a positive light. shed those negative images or fears of what you might become. replace your future visions with successful, positive onces.
9. draw inspiration from positive role models, and BE a positive inspiration to those around you.
you have the power to affect your own personality, and those of others. keep in the back of your mind images of positive people who you know personally, people who inspire you to act with strength or courage. not only that, but be a positive inspiration to those around you. be a role model for them. the pore positive energy you put out, the more you will draw in.
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- Eagle Minded
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Wow, that’s a very good list. A lot of stuff I’ve found to be very helpful over the past years too. Like for example I’ve made a habit out of taking time to look at the things I’m grateful for. I try to think positive about myself and about my future. I also do as many fun things as I can and reward myself with as much positivity around me as possible. And sometimes it can really make me feel better.
And just so you know. I’m not one of those people that others look at and they can immediately tell that I’m depressed. I’m always laughing, making jokes, trying to have fun with friends, doing fun stuff. Until a couple of months back I was always amazingly energetic, while (especially when) my mind / heart sometimes shouted: ‘I can’t take it anymore!’
I’ve always been the strong one, the one who can manage anything on her own, who swallowed every bad thing people did or said to me. But faking you’re happy doesn’t make the depression leave. At least it didn’t with me. It’s always there, no matter how much you ignore it, it’s there, under the surface. That brooding feeling that reminds you in the quiet moments of your loneliness and confusion because you’re so much different from anyone else, of the meaninglessness of your life, of the cruelty of humanity. No matter how hard you shout and do fun stuff to ignore that feeling, you can’t always avoid those quiet moments. No matter how many clouds you keep jumping on. (see my pre previous post, that’s my surviving mechanism).
I don’t know I just have my doubts about the second thing you’ve mentioned. Because it is EXACTLY what I have been doing the past couple of years. And look where it brought me. I’m forced to stay at home, unable to work, unable to do most things because a few months back I completely broke down because of major exhaustion (physically and mentally). Exhaustion because I have constantly been faking that everything was fine with me even (especially) to myself. Thinking that by ignoring it, it would go away eventually. And yeah it worked, I numbed my feelings and thoughts, but eventually my body couldn’t take it anymore. I’m not saying that it was just the depression and ignoring it for so long that had lead to this. But still. Maybe ignoring it works for most of you, but not for me. I wish it did, but yeah.
So what does that make of me? A failure? Weak? Let’s face it, isn’t that what that list makes of me? And you’re probably right. But. Fuck, I’m working so hard to find and make my way in the world. Most people have no idea how much of a fighter I am
I’m sorry if I sound too emotional. Just ignore that, please. Don't get me wrong. It really is a very good list. I'm going to print it today
And just so you know. I’m not one of those people that others look at and they can immediately tell that I’m depressed. I’m always laughing, making jokes, trying to have fun with friends, doing fun stuff. Until a couple of months back I was always amazingly energetic, while (especially when) my mind / heart sometimes shouted: ‘I can’t take it anymore!’
I’ve always been the strong one, the one who can manage anything on her own, who swallowed every bad thing people did or said to me. But faking you’re happy doesn’t make the depression leave. At least it didn’t with me. It’s always there, no matter how much you ignore it, it’s there, under the surface. That brooding feeling that reminds you in the quiet moments of your loneliness and confusion because you’re so much different from anyone else, of the meaninglessness of your life, of the cruelty of humanity. No matter how hard you shout and do fun stuff to ignore that feeling, you can’t always avoid those quiet moments. No matter how many clouds you keep jumping on. (see my pre previous post, that’s my surviving mechanism).
I don’t know I just have my doubts about the second thing you’ve mentioned. Because it is EXACTLY what I have been doing the past couple of years. And look where it brought me. I’m forced to stay at home, unable to work, unable to do most things because a few months back I completely broke down because of major exhaustion (physically and mentally). Exhaustion because I have constantly been faking that everything was fine with me even (especially) to myself. Thinking that by ignoring it, it would go away eventually. And yeah it worked, I numbed my feelings and thoughts, but eventually my body couldn’t take it anymore. I’m not saying that it was just the depression and ignoring it for so long that had lead to this. But still. Maybe ignoring it works for most of you, but not for me. I wish it did, but yeah.
So what does that make of me? A failure? Weak? Let’s face it, isn’t that what that list makes of me? And you’re probably right. But. Fuck, I’m working so hard to find and make my way in the world. Most people have no idea how much of a fighter I am
I’m sorry if I sound too emotional. Just ignore that, please. Don't get me wrong. It really is a very good list. I'm going to print it today
expect nothing and live frugally on surprise.
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- Dayvan Cowboy
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Fantastic list, Saturday Index!
No. 3 speaks to me. I find jogging/walking at 4 in the morning to be a release for me most times. It gives my mind a break from feeling the physical symptoms of anxiety/depression, even though i have been feeling better for a few weeks now, the symptoms are still apparent every now and then, but i guess it takes time for the body to recover from over 3 months of feeling completely shit.
By the way, i dig your tunes man!
No. 3 speaks to me. I find jogging/walking at 4 in the morning to be a release for me most times. It gives my mind a break from feeling the physical symptoms of anxiety/depression, even though i have been feeling better for a few weeks now, the symptoms are still apparent every now and then, but i guess it takes time for the body to recover from over 3 months of feeling completely shit.
By the way, i dig your tunes man!
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- Dayvan Cowboy
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much respect to saturdayindex for that post, everything he states is so so true
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- Happy Cycler
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TheSilenceEchoes wrote:I don’t know I just have my doubts about the second thing you’ve mentioned. Because it is EXACTLY what I have been doing the past couple of years. And look where it brought me. I’m forced to stay at home, unable to work, unable to do most things because a few months back I completely broke down because of major exhaustion (physically and mentally). Exhaustion because I have constantly been faking that everything was fine with me even (especially) to myself. Thinking that by ignoring it, it would go away eventually. And yeah it worked, I numbed my feelings and thoughts, but eventually my body couldn’t take it anymore. I’m not saying that it was just the depression and ignoring it for so long that had lead to this. But still. Maybe ignoring it works for most of you, but not for me. I wish it did, but yeah.
no disrespect to saturdayindex but i have to agree. talking the talk has not helped me walk the walk, in regards to depression. everyone is different, and everyone's approach to depression must be tailor-made for their personality, and my personality is not one that can stomach any measure of emotional "hopefulness" or "wishful thinking" by way of shuffling my feelings under a rug and "rationalizing" - there, that's the key word there, is rationalizing - my way out of depression, like saying to myself "I know I can get past this if I just live my life as if I'm okay and the things that are problems to me are really not" because, I hate to say it, but I'm an expert at emotional arguing and I've never lost a fight with myself. The depressing cynic in me always wins, he goes like a dynamo.
What helps me is earnestness, openness, honesty and understanding friendship. Those things are hard come by, I know. You can't rely on them with all your weight because they might not always be there. I'm blessed, though, with a wealth of very understanding, welcoming, open-armed friendships (despite no romance or sex life, haaaaa... hi) and they help me immensely. When I am depressed, my friends understand this about me and don't treat me like a burden. They don't treat me like I'm in a "mood" or "someone else" - they treat me as I hope they would, like I'm just myself. Depression is a part of my personality and when I'm depressed, it's ME who's suffering depression, it's not just some Other Self Whom Depression Has Taken. This approach challenges the notion that depression is like a malignant cancer that has to be fought off and cleansed from the body. I don't see depression as an illness harming an otherwise cheerful, upbeat life. I simply am the kind of person who goes through life with a twinge of sadness, confusion and rage, because that is the kind of person I am in the world's cast of characters, and that is a -beautiful thing-.
Some people would love to live in a world without Albert Camus, David Lynch films, and Tears for Fears. Not me. In my proudest moments I see myself as another wonderful aspect of the universe - the ever-present killjoy cynic whose sadness cannot be killed, bringing the dreamers and the hopers down from their reveries once in a while and reminding them, HEY, life is but a dream, but dreams can be nightmares, and that is very, very real too.
So embrace yourself. Sometimes, nothing really feels as good as a hug from yourself, if you mean it. Hug yourself and say "I'm still on your side."
another silo full / another dark dawn / bending the air / love is so small
returnal \ you've never left \ you've been here the whole time
returnal \ you've never left \ you've been here the whole time
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- Dayvan Cowboy
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Jeske--I see where you're coming from. I think perhaps that second point of mine is a bit shallow, isn't it. I mean, you can't just suppress things like depression. And it's no surprise that you feel drained and exhausted, because faking it takes a lot of energy. Also, you're not alone on this, as T70 states below. Thanks for your post
T70--Really digged that. Poetic. Everyone really is different, as I'm sure there are many different causes of depression. And it's an excellent point you make that without depression we wouldn't have Albert Camus, Tears for Fears, etc. Or Boards of Canada, I'm sure.
So now that you guys have both shared a bit about your personal struggles, I'll say something about mine. I find that one of the hardest things to do when I'm depressed, is SMILE. I've personally been having a very hard time for the past few weeks, and I find it difficult to laugh at jokes, or smile genuinely at people. I used to BS with people at work like we were buddies, but now I don't even feel like a buddy anymore. I feel more like a zombie. Like today, someone took a photo of me and some other people, and I could not smile, I ended up just making a really retarded looking half-assed smirk. I felt stupid. So, any thoughts on how to get yourself to smile genuinely?
T70--Really digged that. Poetic. Everyone really is different, as I'm sure there are many different causes of depression. And it's an excellent point you make that without depression we wouldn't have Albert Camus, Tears for Fears, etc. Or Boards of Canada, I'm sure.
So now that you guys have both shared a bit about your personal struggles, I'll say something about mine. I find that one of the hardest things to do when I'm depressed, is SMILE. I've personally been having a very hard time for the past few weeks, and I find it difficult to laugh at jokes, or smile genuinely at people. I used to BS with people at work like we were buddies, but now I don't even feel like a buddy anymore. I feel more like a zombie. Like today, someone took a photo of me and some other people, and I could not smile, I ended up just making a really retarded looking half-assed smirk. I felt stupid. So, any thoughts on how to get yourself to smile genuinely?
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- Happy Cycler
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saturdayindex wrote:I think perhaps that second point of mine is a bit shallow, isn't it. I mean, you can't just suppress things like depression.
Actually, now that I've said my initial reaction, I do have to mention that I think some measure of your happiness must be self-manufactured, very much like SI's original point. Like I wrote above, I don't think some kinds of solutions can be self-manufactured, but there really legitimately are some situations in which, in order to really be happy, you kind of just have to tell yourself you're happy. I've experienced those recently, where you just don't really feel anything until you jog your own memory and say, "Hey, dude, remember, this is a GOOD thing. Feel GOOD about it." There is a lot of merit in that idea.
saturdayindex wrote:So now that you guys have both shared a bit about your personal struggles, I'll say something about mine. I find that one of the hardest things to do when I'm depressed, is SMILE. I've personally been having a very hard time for the past few weeks, and I find it difficult to laugh at jokes, or smile genuinely at people. I used to BS with people at work like we were buddies, but now I don't even feel like a buddy anymore. I feel more like a zombie. Like today, someone took a photo of me and some other people, and I could not smile, I ended up just making a really retarded looking half-assed smirk. I felt stupid. So, any thoughts on how to get yourself to smile genuinely?
shit, well, I'll say this: in my experience, smiling genuinely around other people (when you aren't naturally inclined to, obviously) is harder than smiling genuinely just to yourself. So... I guess I recommend starting by practicing just smiling genuinely to yourself? In my experience, sometimes I am depressed and something happens that makes me happy, and before I give myself a chance to rationalize my way out of it, I say, "Hey, that's awesome. That reminds me of everything I believe is good about the universe." And I let myself smile, consciously. I guess being mindful is the key here, although I'm no yoga master. Beyond that I just advise analyzing the people that surround you (not unscrupulously, but just observantly) and finding out what it is that makes you not want to smile around them, or what used to make you smile.
Please disregard all nonsense advice contained herein; I'm drunk and high and no guarantees can be made to the quality of this thought.
another silo full / another dark dawn / bending the air / love is so small
returnal \ you've never left \ you've been here the whole time
returnal \ you've never left \ you've been here the whole time
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- Sherbet Head
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"I shall die here. Every inch of me will perish. Every inch but one. An inch... It is small, and fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that, whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you understand that even though I will never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you."
- V for Vendetta
- V for Vendetta
Viper.
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- Happy Cycler
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i don't understand people who are enchanted by real life.
this planet is the omega of all letdowns. this world exists to the sole purpose of breaking the hearts of anyone who dreams of wondrous things. the only things worth a shit in this universe are fantasies - songs, poems, imaginations.
i want to travel into the stars and write WHAT A SHITHOLE where every earthling can see it from where they stand
this planet is the omega of all letdowns. this world exists to the sole purpose of breaking the hearts of anyone who dreams of wondrous things. the only things worth a shit in this universe are fantasies - songs, poems, imaginations.
i want to travel into the stars and write WHAT A SHITHOLE where every earthling can see it from where they stand
another silo full / another dark dawn / bending the air / love is so small
returnal \ you've never left \ you've been here the whole time
returnal \ you've never left \ you've been here the whole time
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- Sherbet Head
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I really have no legitimate reason to be depressed. I just feel so alone all the time even when I know I'm not. The presence of people just increases anxiety levels for me sometimes, and I think of all the wonderful thing I could say to people but cannot physically bring myself to. I miss so many opportunities, and whenever I miss one I feel so shamed because I imagine the reaction the person might partake from me saying the certain thing I wish I'd said. If I do force myself to say something it comes out awkward and dyslexic and I have nothing to follow it up with. If I want to say something to someone I pretty much have to memorize what I wish to say in order to get it all out, and again, I have nothing to follow it up with. I guess that's part of my bipolarity or something, having a mind that can't really connect with my physical body. Because of it I've been steadily more and more antisocial, and it only adds to the feeling of loneliness. I became too attached to the first person I ever had true feelings for and it destroyed me to loose someone who I felt genuinely happy and social by just being near. No matter how many times I tell myself and make myself believe that I've moved on from her and everything and that I have the confidence to speak to people fluidly, my mind seems to subconsciously deny it. I put too much of my emotional side into the relationship I had, and as a result my subconscious must have treated the situation as something to cling to, as it was all positive emotion flowing from it. Snapping the tube connecting my mind to happiness, now it's still cut up, sucking and hoping to find that feeling of happiness again, and for some reason I can't shut it off. I'm always confident that things will fade in time, and once I find that special person again the gap will likely have something to reattach to and therefore end my on-and-off episodes of depression I guess.
Fuck. I have no REAL reason to be depressed-- it sucks that something so little can affect me so greatly. It has gotten a bit better though, every other month for awhile seemed to be long and seemingly endless episodes but they're becoming far less frequent now, and for shorter periods- maybe every two days and then for two days etc.
But yeah pretty much disregard my whole situation. It's just stupid and I'm confident I'll get over it soon, but after many months I'm not so sure-- either way I don't really care, I just want to be able to tell people all the many things I have to say and find someone I can talk to.
Fuck. I have no REAL reason to be depressed-- it sucks that something so little can affect me so greatly. It has gotten a bit better though, every other month for awhile seemed to be long and seemingly endless episodes but they're becoming far less frequent now, and for shorter periods- maybe every two days and then for two days etc.
But yeah pretty much disregard my whole situation. It's just stupid and I'm confident I'll get over it soon, but after many months I'm not so sure-- either way I don't really care, I just want to be able to tell people all the many things I have to say and find someone I can talk to.
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- Dayvan Cowboy
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I am quite antisocial too. Have been for a number of years now. I've been a shy and low confident person all my life. I went to some counciling sessions a few months back, but it didn't do jack shit for me personally. My counsellor was a really really nice person though, and she tells me I am welcome to go back to her if i need to. Just before my counciling finished, I was put in a group with two strangers, and we had to talk about all kinds of different subjects, and they did most of the talking. I was in my own world most of the time, haha.
It didn't last long though, about 2 weeks and then it was all over. And i was thinking to myself, it's quite sad, because i'll probably never see those two again. I wasn't confident enough to say ''You guys are cool. We should keep in touch, if that's ok with you?''. I'm like you Spenner, a lot of the time i can't phsyically bring myself to say the things i want. I have to think of what i'm going to say hours beforehand. Like if i'm going to a family get together in the afternoon or something, i'll spend most of my morning in the bath, thinking out what i'm gonna say.
I only feel properly confident in front of a few friends, my parents and my sister. It's always a struggle talking to other family members though.
Thank fuck for the music of BoC and Bibio. Very comforting.
It didn't last long though, about 2 weeks and then it was all over. And i was thinking to myself, it's quite sad, because i'll probably never see those two again. I wasn't confident enough to say ''You guys are cool. We should keep in touch, if that's ok with you?''. I'm like you Spenner, a lot of the time i can't phsyically bring myself to say the things i want. I have to think of what i'm going to say hours beforehand. Like if i'm going to a family get together in the afternoon or something, i'll spend most of my morning in the bath, thinking out what i'm gonna say.
I only feel properly confident in front of a few friends, my parents and my sister. It's always a struggle talking to other family members though.
Thank fuck for the music of BoC and Bibio. Very comforting.
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- Eagle Minded
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Ha, so many people alike over here. Although not depressed (I guess), I do recognize a lot. Also had some counseling, but my counselor was... well, let's say he wasn't the right one for me.
I admire people who can keep talking forever without an uncomfortable silence, although they also seem to talk about the not so interesting stuff. In general, I'm the quiet one in conversations. I'm always thinking about the next topic to talk about and sometimes stress out over it, because I can't think of one.
And yeah, music does create some kind of home.
I admire people who can keep talking forever without an uncomfortable silence, although they also seem to talk about the not so interesting stuff. In general, I'm the quiet one in conversations. I'm always thinking about the next topic to talk about and sometimes stress out over it, because I can't think of one.
And yeah, music does create some kind of home.
Unexpect the expected
- New Seed
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Clinging is the root of suffering, if you can learn to let go, you can be free of suffering.
However, don't mistake this with nihilism or escapism. You can let go and be a compassionate, sensitive, alert and sensual being.
Life is meaningless, but not in a negative sense. It is meaningless in the way that dancing is meaningless. Dancing has no meaning, and music in its purest form has no meaning. You may attach meaning to music via lyrics or references, but melody and rhythm and timbre have no significance other than the significance of themselves - wordless, concept-less.
A flower. Look at it. It has no meaning. You may say it has a purpose, biologically, but it doesn't 'mean' anything. It is what it is. There's nothing cold or clinical about that, to suggest so would be forcing a human-conditioned idea upon it, when all it is doing is being what it is.
Words have meaning, as do symbols. But a flower, or a human, is not a word or a symbol.
It is a common cause of anxiety when people feel their life is meaningless, but rejoice in it!
You are the most unfathomably wonderful thing in the universe, all of you. You are the universe expressing itself in the most mind bogglingly beautiful way - consider the infinite void, the innumerable galaxies of stardust and gas and molten rock - consider your brain - consider your brain considering your brain in all of this! - It ripples through the universe like when a pebble is thrown into a pond - your mind is the amalgamation of the dust and energy of the universe into a universe of sensation and thought all of its own - but not separate from the cosmos, it is the cosmos, it is a part of it. You are also sensitive dynamic multitudes of people, you are capable of extremes. One of those extremes is depression, and it is a hollow abyss of a feeling, but you can get out. I know.
Don't just purely hunt for solutions to your problems, don't get too tangled in schemes or strategies to improve your life. Accept that this is it, it is short, it is wonderful, it is mysterious, multi-faceted.
It is also a fact that you never die.
What happens to you when you die?
What happens to your fist when you open your hand?
Who are you? Well, if you are the universe expressing itself in this instance of flesh and electricity, the form may change and rot and recycle, but the universe continues in its wondrous flux. You are not separate from this universe, you are a tentacle or a ray of it. You are immortal.
If there is a god, he isn't a personal god, one that can be compared to anything. It is extremely childish to think of god as being guilty for letting people suffer, it is like thinking of god in the same way as santa claus.
God can not be described. Let go of god, let go of your idea of god - both atheists and those who have god in their mind as a personal god. God can not be grasped with an idea. To fervently deny the existence of god is to do the same thing.
Atheists are as obsessed with god as are monotheists.
Letting go of god doesn't mean you've lost faith. It means you can release a fervent belief in what god is and accept, in faith, that whatever you think, you are part of something mysterious and unfathomable.
If someone feels their life has meaning in the sense of their job, or their identity, or their achievements then they are veiling the 'real' them with the 'idea' of themselves.
I've been in the tight vortex of depression, I imagined there was no way out, all I wanted to do was sleep, to escape the torture. But over time I healed. And anyone here can too.
There can be a positive side to depression, it can help you dust the cobwebs once you have regained contentment.
Like when people have a health scare or a car accident, but survive and it jolts them into appreciating what they have.
I really wish to avoid being patronising in any way, but consider this:
If you are affected by winter in a negative way, then don't spend too much time indoors and behind a computer screen. I have a strong feeling too much internet and too much living in a virtual world is bad for mental health. You also need more light, and it is lacking, naturally.
Get out, smell the air, observe all the things around you, don't judge them, don't analyse them. Contemplate them, be in awe, be inspired. Don't create a hierarchy of importance, every little minute detail is in its place and has its place. There could be no cathedral without first a grain of sand.
Observe everything: a leaf on the pavement. The bubbles in your coffee. The slowly shifting shadows of the window frame. The sparkle of a broken bottle in a gutter. The ripple on a puddle as the wind brushes over it. The murmur of distant people. The hum of traffic. The silent clouds. The slamming of doors. The rattle of a coke can on the bus floor. The indecipherable sounds of foreigners. The trills of birds. The buzz of bees. The jingle of a dog's collar. The dissolving vapour trail in the vast blue. The conversations indoors. The conversations outdoors. The sore soles of your feet from a long walk. The relief of taking off your shoes. The warm satisfying ache of sitting down after working hard. The wrinkle of your fingers in the bath. The echo of barks ricocheting off the houses. The doves' coos on chimney pots.
Absorb it all, savour it, but don't expect it to have any meaning, it is what it is, and it is divine.
I've never used anti-depressants. I don't really believe in them, but I don't judge people for using them. I understand why people do but I fear doctors give them out like they give out antibiotics.
I had a friend who was severely depressed and was on anti-depressants, he decided off his own back to stop taking them and help himself. He read poetry, books, and just got on with his life and now he is full of joy again. The drugs may soothe, but they may hinder the process of self-help. I always feared the prospect of relying on them to feel more content, which is why I avoided them. I'm not claiming to be a hero, I don't look down on anyone who chooses to use anti-depressants.
I agree with skytree - get exercise. It doesn't have to be sport, or competitive. But getting out and getting your blood pumping will do wonders for you. Sitting in on your own and thinking may have its place, and I think it's part of getting out of depression, but a new frame of mind is needed, and you will get a new frame of mind from being active. Give it a try at least.
Try meaningless activity like cycling aimlessly with no destination, or if you want it to have meaning - be light hearted about it, let it be fun, don't take it seriously like all those boring overpaid professional sportsmen and women do.
And apply the same attitude to life. It is a game, it is a complicate game, but the lighter your attitude, the lighter your heart, the lighter your feet - the better.
Oh, and this post isn't aimed at anyone in particular. I haven't actually read the whole thread, I just stumbled upon it and felt the urge to share a point of view.
I'm not planning on returning, this was intended to be both my first and final visit, so please don't ask any questions as I don't want to seem aloof by not answering them!
I wish you all a healthy and happy future, but more importantly I wish you all a healthy and happy present.
Oh, and talk to people. Be with friends, family. Touch, hold, hug, cry, laugh. Be human.
However, don't mistake this with nihilism or escapism. You can let go and be a compassionate, sensitive, alert and sensual being.
Life is meaningless, but not in a negative sense. It is meaningless in the way that dancing is meaningless. Dancing has no meaning, and music in its purest form has no meaning. You may attach meaning to music via lyrics or references, but melody and rhythm and timbre have no significance other than the significance of themselves - wordless, concept-less.
A flower. Look at it. It has no meaning. You may say it has a purpose, biologically, but it doesn't 'mean' anything. It is what it is. There's nothing cold or clinical about that, to suggest so would be forcing a human-conditioned idea upon it, when all it is doing is being what it is.
Words have meaning, as do symbols. But a flower, or a human, is not a word or a symbol.
It is a common cause of anxiety when people feel their life is meaningless, but rejoice in it!
You are the most unfathomably wonderful thing in the universe, all of you. You are the universe expressing itself in the most mind bogglingly beautiful way - consider the infinite void, the innumerable galaxies of stardust and gas and molten rock - consider your brain - consider your brain considering your brain in all of this! - It ripples through the universe like when a pebble is thrown into a pond - your mind is the amalgamation of the dust and energy of the universe into a universe of sensation and thought all of its own - but not separate from the cosmos, it is the cosmos, it is a part of it. You are also sensitive dynamic multitudes of people, you are capable of extremes. One of those extremes is depression, and it is a hollow abyss of a feeling, but you can get out. I know.
Don't just purely hunt for solutions to your problems, don't get too tangled in schemes or strategies to improve your life. Accept that this is it, it is short, it is wonderful, it is mysterious, multi-faceted.
It is also a fact that you never die.
What happens to you when you die?
What happens to your fist when you open your hand?
Who are you? Well, if you are the universe expressing itself in this instance of flesh and electricity, the form may change and rot and recycle, but the universe continues in its wondrous flux. You are not separate from this universe, you are a tentacle or a ray of it. You are immortal.
If there is a god, he isn't a personal god, one that can be compared to anything. It is extremely childish to think of god as being guilty for letting people suffer, it is like thinking of god in the same way as santa claus.
God can not be described. Let go of god, let go of your idea of god - both atheists and those who have god in their mind as a personal god. God can not be grasped with an idea. To fervently deny the existence of god is to do the same thing.
Atheists are as obsessed with god as are monotheists.
Letting go of god doesn't mean you've lost faith. It means you can release a fervent belief in what god is and accept, in faith, that whatever you think, you are part of something mysterious and unfathomable.
If someone feels their life has meaning in the sense of their job, or their identity, or their achievements then they are veiling the 'real' them with the 'idea' of themselves.
I've been in the tight vortex of depression, I imagined there was no way out, all I wanted to do was sleep, to escape the torture. But over time I healed. And anyone here can too.
There can be a positive side to depression, it can help you dust the cobwebs once you have regained contentment.
Like when people have a health scare or a car accident, but survive and it jolts them into appreciating what they have.
I really wish to avoid being patronising in any way, but consider this:
If you are affected by winter in a negative way, then don't spend too much time indoors and behind a computer screen. I have a strong feeling too much internet and too much living in a virtual world is bad for mental health. You also need more light, and it is lacking, naturally.
Get out, smell the air, observe all the things around you, don't judge them, don't analyse them. Contemplate them, be in awe, be inspired. Don't create a hierarchy of importance, every little minute detail is in its place and has its place. There could be no cathedral without first a grain of sand.
Observe everything: a leaf on the pavement. The bubbles in your coffee. The slowly shifting shadows of the window frame. The sparkle of a broken bottle in a gutter. The ripple on a puddle as the wind brushes over it. The murmur of distant people. The hum of traffic. The silent clouds. The slamming of doors. The rattle of a coke can on the bus floor. The indecipherable sounds of foreigners. The trills of birds. The buzz of bees. The jingle of a dog's collar. The dissolving vapour trail in the vast blue. The conversations indoors. The conversations outdoors. The sore soles of your feet from a long walk. The relief of taking off your shoes. The warm satisfying ache of sitting down after working hard. The wrinkle of your fingers in the bath. The echo of barks ricocheting off the houses. The doves' coos on chimney pots.
Absorb it all, savour it, but don't expect it to have any meaning, it is what it is, and it is divine.
I've never used anti-depressants. I don't really believe in them, but I don't judge people for using them. I understand why people do but I fear doctors give them out like they give out antibiotics.
I had a friend who was severely depressed and was on anti-depressants, he decided off his own back to stop taking them and help himself. He read poetry, books, and just got on with his life and now he is full of joy again. The drugs may soothe, but they may hinder the process of self-help. I always feared the prospect of relying on them to feel more content, which is why I avoided them. I'm not claiming to be a hero, I don't look down on anyone who chooses to use anti-depressants.
I agree with skytree - get exercise. It doesn't have to be sport, or competitive. But getting out and getting your blood pumping will do wonders for you. Sitting in on your own and thinking may have its place, and I think it's part of getting out of depression, but a new frame of mind is needed, and you will get a new frame of mind from being active. Give it a try at least.
Try meaningless activity like cycling aimlessly with no destination, or if you want it to have meaning - be light hearted about it, let it be fun, don't take it seriously like all those boring overpaid professional sportsmen and women do.
And apply the same attitude to life. It is a game, it is a complicate game, but the lighter your attitude, the lighter your heart, the lighter your feet - the better.
Oh, and this post isn't aimed at anyone in particular. I haven't actually read the whole thread, I just stumbled upon it and felt the urge to share a point of view.
I'm not planning on returning, this was intended to be both my first and final visit, so please don't ask any questions as I don't want to seem aloof by not answering them!
I wish you all a healthy and happy future, but more importantly I wish you all a healthy and happy present.
Oh, and talk to people. Be with friends, family. Touch, hold, hug, cry, laugh. Be human.
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