That's just great :)
*scrolls back up to Christina Hendricks*
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rainier wrote:This thread rules!
I had one of the weirdest, most fucked up summers. Various situations were fucking with my head and found myself slipping back into old self destructive habits.
...then I dunno, the other day I just snapped out of it and was like "fuck this noise!". I don't even give a fuck if it's corny, the serentity prayer is pretty right on. You accept the things you can't change, change the things you can, and hope that you have the ability to know which is which.
I was so down on myself for years, hated myself, bad self esteem etc. Then I was at a crossroads a few years ago where I was like, life is fucking short and I'm sick of feeling like this, so I busted my ass to learn to love and accept myself, and I can't imagine anything better. It's like a super power.
Then shit hit the fan again, got into some weird situations, emotions all over the place, and I started to be all down on myself again. Same old shit. But then my sense of self preservation kicked in and now I feel really secure in who I am and I'm not gonna let someone else's problems make me feel bad about myself.
Someone comes at me now with abusive nasty garbage, it like doesn't even make a blip on my self esteem. I see it exactly for what it is, and it's the best that ability to have, because that kind of shit used to destroy me. It's like an emotional kevlar vest. It's so awesome. You see this emotionally abusive person having a daffy duck meltdown on you, spouting all kinds of crap, and you're just sitting there like "aight, cool story dude".
Guido wrote:I'm happy because
I'm discovering loads of great music right now
I quit alcohol after addiction
After years of debilitating depression I feel better now, in part thanks to medication
After an interview I got a job that I really wanted to have, starting next month
The last couple of years I've been working on software which I showed to a Dutch university professor in computer science and he discussed with his research group twice because he was genuinely interested in a collaboration. I feel proud about this because I have only completed elementary school and I'm completely self-taught in everything. You can read more about my project here.
So things are pretty swell
Guido wrote:Thank you Agata.
rainier wrote:Mad props on quitting alcohol. I know how fucking hard it is.
I quit 2 years ago, not a goddamn drop, and it was a very very good decision for me. It changed my whole perspective on life. Once I start I have a very hard time stopping myself and it gets out of control.
Recently I picked up again just here and there, nothing like before, but I'm no fool and I know if I don't stop again it will get just as bad as it was before, so I'm gonna start over and get back to where I was before, because it was definitely the best choice for me.
I'm not a hardline AA person by any means, but I've gone to meetings in the past and got some good advice and support, not just on drinking, but on life in general. I've gotten crazy advice there too and heard plenty of crap I don't agree with, but I'm not gonna throw throw baby out with the bathwater and I'm just gonna go back to my old meetings for awhile, cuz hey, why not? Free coffee anyway, haha.
Anyway, congrats!
Guido wrote:I'm happy because
I'm discovering loads of great music right now
I quit alcohol after addiction
After years of debilitating depression I feel better now, in part thanks to medication
After an interview I got a job that I really wanted to have, starting next month
The last couple of years I've been working on software which I showed to a Dutch university professor in computer science and he discussed with his research group twice because he was genuinely interested in a collaboration. I feel proud about this because I have only completed elementary school and I'm completely self-taught in everything. You can read more about my project here.
So things are pretty swell
rainier wrote:I'm 32. And I think you're exactly right. I don't think it's just a matter of alcohol specifically, but getting underneath the problem to understand *why* I drink and figuring out better ways to cope. I could just as easily be a shopping addict or a gambling addict etc. I picked up drinking at a young age and it became very compulsive.
I remember it used to be so hard to imagine my life without ever having another drink. Thankfully I haven't gotten to that point again, but I know my tendencies enough to know the fact that I picked it up again isn't completely innocent. Plus even just one drink seems to mess with my mood the next day, it makes me anxious.
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