louise wrote:Rodheh wrote:Mexicola wrote:especially if I'm right and the economy faceplants again in the next 12/24 months. Strange and scary things could then start to happen.
I've jumped through hoops so inane and irrelevant to try and get my visa. If, at the end of the day, the country I've chosen to emigrate to out of societal preference dives directly into one of the many things I'm trying to escape from over here, I could see myself jumping off a bridge.
if its ok to ask, where are you from rodheh?
Intentions are to settle in England where I can provide an occupation (unbelievably I discovered a "job in a religious community" can qualify, which...seriously?) somewhere preferably small with active weather. I have some friends made a long time ago I'll be in contact with the most and then I'll probably do what it is I do right now - stay away from most people unless I have to say something.
Option two is Germany as I have family there. Don't know the language fluently. Problem. "But English is universa-" no. I won't be comfortable without knowing the language fluently.
I'm from Phoenix. I'm desperate to get away from Americans. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not one. All my friends and family are not bothered by the grotesque shit that appears on their televisions - particularly advertisements for cars and alcohol during a sports game or a 'news' broadcast - not only that, but I'm the
only one who has had that shit unplugged for years. Not only that, but with the exception of needing to eat food I do not feed into this abhorrent consumer culture but once every so often. Not only that, but that I'm constantly disturbed on a
personal level by our media and government which is essentially a giant body with no head and no ideas, no concern for children upon children to accurately be able to infer information without cross referencing like hell, no concern for the world's well being economically and peacefully, no concern for the fact that its citizens dance in fire and yet someone comes along every once and a while urging us to overpopulate this piece of land more and more. No organized, collective concern for fucking science. Plenty of flag waving and 'patriotism' though.
I am
ill from being - seeing - hearing - knowing these many Americans, and when I get everything I need to get sorted out here, I'm eager to leave at whatever the expense, because it's chewing into me mentally. It has, with all sincerity, drained my concern at any continuation of life if I am here. I know, and all of my friends have told me, that any newly contrived happiness will disappear as I become used to life wherever else I might reside over time if it hits me in the same sort of way (at which point it's time to try and move again). I also know I'm not going to escape all of the things I dislike and that people are still people. Though I believe, both with my heart and my brain, that among all my potential choices none can be remotely as bad as
this.
I hope. Hope is what made my passport process a disaster, but it's also what keeps me going.