Depression

[Valotonin]

This helped a lot actually. Thanks, cupz (:
I was on similar antipsychotics like risperidone and quetiapine. In all honesty without them the world becomes much nicer. I both benefited and suffered from the result of taking psychedelics once or twice unfortunately. I can't deal with the curtain being drawn back all at once and every belief being questioned without panicking. Very very restricted and controlled use of opiates has helped me a lot but that is a taboo subject. All I can say is I am on the same dosage as two years ago and the same frequency of usage because there is an obvious trick to never getting withdrawal. It is just good to hear that you have your life back though! I am on my way there too.

[Najlepsiejszy]

How do you deal with jealousy? It's funny. I know my life doesn't matter, but at the same time, I am jealous of one girl's achievements. It's so fucking stupid

[Aerial Boundaries]

How do you deal with jealousy? It's funny. I know my life doesn't matter, but at the same time, I am jealous of one girl's achievements. It's so fucking stupid

There isn't really a way to deal with jealousy apart from ignoring it/her, and just accepting that she's a different person with her own life. You don't know what is going to happen in the future, for her or for you. Life can change pretty suddenly, and much of it is out of anyone's control.

Also, I know that it is hard to say that whether life has a point, but without getting into any kind of philosophical discussion, your life doesn't matter more or less than anyone else's. Saying things like that isn't helpful mate, for anyone.

I'm not sure what else I can say, especially because we don't know each other really well. I think we all go through certain stages where it is impossible for anyone else to comfort us or provide advice. Frankly I've been in that stage for half my life, with a few years of relief here and there. You come off as a smart guy, sometimes you've got to talk it out with yourself and find out whether things like this really matter.

[Ashtray Wasp]

Can you suicide by putting music so loud on your headphones that your head explodes?

[Cupz]

tried it. no

[Najlepsiejszy]

I am stopping therapy. I don't know about you guys, but this hasn't been helping me at all

[Magrathea]

I am stopping therapy. I don't know about you guys, but this hasn't been helping me at all

It helps like having a trainer at the gym works, i.e. someone to report to and that kind of "forces" you to actually do things, at least that is how it works for Me.

However, what helped the most was getting My ass to the gym three times a week, but I am still on meds/therapy/gym and it works, I am back to work part time.

[Lens Larque]

I'm passing on this resource, it is a podcast with many episodes. Paul Gilmartin's Mental Illness Happy Hour.

http://www.mentalpod.com

Gilmartin known to Americans as a comedian and host of "Dinner and a Movie" on American cable television (he himself suffers from crippling depression--updated weekly--meds, feeling etc..) presents this highly candid podcast with common guests every week. Take a look in the archives for many subjects. Its been expressed to me as very helpful for those that are hurting for any reason.

I myself realized (seems obvious now!) that I existed in a quasi co-narcissistic relationship with my parents after listening to one episode. I check it out every week; fascinating and insightful stuff for any person bravely coping with mental illness or psychological distress.

[Mexicola]

Thank for sharing Lens. I'll check it out.

[Mexicola]

I am stopping therapy. I don't know about you guys, but this hasn't been helping me at all

You have to do what you feel is right for you of course. But...

All I'll say is that I'm about to pick things up again after a break of a couple of months. I'd been trying to wean myself off the Prozac too (with docs consent obviously) but I had a major relapse this week. Feeling better now because I took positive action to address things concerning me, but like the tablets, you often don't realise how much it's helping until you stop.

By all means stop if you feel it's counter productive, but can I politely suggest talking to your doc about it first? At least tell those around you so they can keep a caring eye open for any negative impact longer term.

Hope you aren't offended, but this message is sent as kindly advice and not intended to patronise

Good luck, as always.

[Jonse]

I am stopping therapy. I don't know about you guys, but this hasn't been helping me at all

What does "therapy" consist of in this case? Medication/treatment too? I wasn't sure because of what you'd posted before. I feel for you man, I understand it and quite agree with you about the beliefs/panic thing. I don't see how somebody who isn't drugged is supposed to be able to tell a stranger/acquaintance they know only on a professional basis exactly what's screwing up their life. It makes no sense whatsoever.

And just for the sake of it, I'd like to say that opiates are only as taboo as you want to make them out to be. I've seen a lot of people pick and choose between various drugs, deciding which ones are "okay" and which ones are "wrong" without considering how they might subjectively effect a person. Opiates resulted in nothing but positives in my life. Anti-psychotics made me a zombie when I tried them. You've got to let what's right for you speak for itself.

[Najlepsiejszy]

Thanks for all the advice. I'm continuing therapy. I discussed my concerns with my therapist.

However, I need still to get something off my chest. I feel like I will feel much better once I tell you about it.

I was walking in a park and I was passing two girls. One of them said "hey, go to a puddle and drown yourself". I didn't know those girls and I still don't. Her nonchalance and lack of empathy kills me to this day. Thank you for your time

[Jonse]

Goddamn, it's been rough for the last 12 hours. It'll probably be rough later.

Vodka goes in the glass, down the hatch.

@Naj - that's terrible. Sorry you have to live with that.

[Mexicola]

To Naj: Sorry brother, just seen this. Awful and thoughtless. I hope you're ok and that you realise you're welcome here my friend. Sending you goods thoughts.

[Echo the Sun]

Opiates resulted in nothing but positives in my life. Anti-psychotics made me a zombie when I tried them. You've got to let what's right for you speak for itself.

i don't think advocating opiate-use is very good idea. also, why did you need to take antipsychotics for depression? if you didn't take them for depression, i think you should make that clear; this is a thread about depression, after all

[Jonse]

don't think advocating opiate-use is very good idea. also, why did you need to take antipsychotics for depression? if you didn't take them for depression, i think you should make that clear; this is a thread about depression, after all

I don't think advocating the use of most psychostimulants is a good idea but it's not my place to tell anyone helped by them whether or not they have the right to take them. Everyone responds differently to different pychoactives - I hate weed but I support the choice to consume it nonetheless because I know people helped by it. You should be able to have your DOC without being looked at through the lens of some nonsensical social stigma.

I was given antipsychotics for various reasons, most of them pertaining to pure-o but depression as well. They don't work. Depression is something that I've struggled or just put up with to varying degrees over the years and it's not really treated by medicine. I was extending some support to someone who had mentioned antipsychotics and opiates, I didn't bring those examples up.

[Aerial Boundaries]

I would firstly like to correct you there Echo, antipsychotics can be and are prescribed for depression as well as SSRIs. There are various forms of depression which can cause thought disorder, delusional thinking, and hallucinations. I for instance get intermittent dissociation (look it up if you don't know what it is) which is quite a classic symptom of moderate to severe depression, something that can be treated with antipsychs.

That said I do not advocate their use unless absolutely necessary. Same goes for SSRIs which are WAY WAY too often prescribed when other forms of treatment are more suitable. These drugs are little understood especially in terms of how they affect you in the long term. Moreover, it is unclear whether they actually do make you more 'balanced' emotionally or if they simply cut one off from their own emotional baggage. Moreover, depression is misconceived as being only about mood by most of the population and doctors. Depression involves a fundamental difference in ideology and how we work with the world. It pervades almost every aspect of one's life, something that is quite hard to explain to those who do not suffer from it.

Finally, Rod was not, I think, advocating the use of opiates. He was extolling their apparent virtues in relation to himself. He made it quite clear that he was only talking about his experience with them. If anything he was only suggesting that you shouldn't decide what is bad for you based on a taboo, but instead decide that based on research, experience reports and your own experiences if you've tried it. He wasn't saying 'go out and try them', but 'if you are interested and trust your own judgement and care, then you shouldn't limit yourself because other people tell you to'. Correct me if I'm wrong there.

As an aside, I also generally don't enjoy weed. It makes my heart race, and I smoked it heavily for two years anyway like a bloody idiot! I do enjoy a nice hash spliff if I'm drunk or coming down though mmmmmmm

[Jonse]

Less the relation to myself but more to another whose very, very restricted and controlled usage apparently helped him a lot...but that's taboo.

Bullshit. I say Zoloft is taboo. After all, prescription antidepressants are definitely far more taboo in most countries than most opiates/opioids. "Opiate" =/= Fentanyl. The opium poppy (or the kratom leaf, for a non-opiate example) are natural - it's those who do not control them that create the taboo. I'm not perpetuating the tired "natural = good" argument and will readily tell you that there are natural compounds that have become way, way better through human interference. Most of them don't though and that goes for opiates (note the -ates) as well. Sometime's it's better not to change what mother nature cultivates for us.

No correction to be made.

You're also spot on with the antidepressants. Tried 'em all (except some of the newer ones). They're extremely subjective and there's a reason why I quit taking any of them but Prozac. I'm sticking to what has the least amount of negative side effects/risk potential, the longest half-life and the mildest effect. Something else might make you feel significantly less depressed, but it'll pave over your persona in the process and create a whole new bunch of problems. We have a long way to go (both pharmacologically and societally) before we can turn "better living through chemistry" into "proper living for the chemically imbalanced through chemistry" - we won't live to see it, I do believe.

[Aerial Boundaries]

We wont ever see it, any of us, hopefully. Because the problem is not 'a chemical imbalance'. The imbalance is there, and we can see it. But because it is the only thing we can observe directly regarding depression, science has assumed that it is the cause. It is not the cause. The imbalance is a readily apparent part of the biological mechanism involved in depression, but there is nothing to say that it is the cause nor that we should actually attempt to meddle with or control it!

I am very adamant about this because I am so fucking tired of companies and GPs pushing this line on people with no substantial evidence that it is the cause. I am not shouting at you here Rodheh btw, just to make it clear. This isn't directed towards you.

The cause is far more likely to be a mental one, not a biological one, influenced heavily by our environment particularly growing up, in combination with certain predispositions caused by innate personality traits. But anyone can get depression and we've seen that, any type of person can at any point in their lives and I am so bloody sure that our environment and general situation in life past and present is the main causative factor.

I've had enough of this bullshit, and I want some real hard evidence before I accept the biological argument. Drug companies are the worst pushers, I've met weed dealers far more friendly and honest.

EDIT: I'd like to add that I'm not against a happier future. I just think that instead of drugging everyone with even moderate depression up (even with shiny new drugs that appear to work better), we should be building a better society. Our society is sick, horrible, ugly, angry and lonely. No wonder so many people feel fucked.

[Ashtray Wasp]

Gf might be pregnant