TL;DR - Sorry about the wall of text, but Read it all dammit!
Valotonin.Not pathetic at all. I also left school at 14 due to my own illnesses and also to look after my mum. I did return a year later though, but I was very close to not returning at all. Is it pathetic when a person stays home from school because he has a cold? No, right? What if he has something chronic that makes him always sick so he can't finish his schooling, whether that be mentally or physically, it doesn't matter. It's not pathetic, it's called being reasonable. As long as you keep doing what you actually can, then your doing great. What's pathetic is when people don't have any limitations, but they just choose not to bother. Laziness is pathetic. Actual effort is never pathetic and that's the only thing you need to compare with others. I'll respect someone who puts forth effort to do something positive than anyone else who does the exact same thing with natural talent. So as long as you're trying to improve yourself where you can, you've earned any reasonably thinking persons respect.
And there is no shame in living with your folks if that's what the current case has to be. I first moved out when I was 16, moved back in when I was 19, moved out again at 21, moved in again at 23, moved out again at 24, then moved in again at 26. Now I just moved out again at 29. My health is much more stable now, so I think I'm out for good at this point. The only time living with your folks is pathetic is again, if it's an attitude problem. In this case laziness. It's NEVER pathetic if it is for the benefit of your own health or even your parents health. People should be doing what they can to take care of themselves. You seem to respect that in your choice of staying with your folks. I wish I respected that more when I was young. It would've prevented a lot of problems that arose.
So you're moving out? - tips from 747MusicBefore you decide:Do a ton of research from trustworthy sources on anything and everything involved in where you want to go and how you would go about getting there and then how you would live there comfortably. Only if you feel confident in it's benefits to yourself by moving out, should you do it. And dig deep into that mind of yours, make sure that the logic behind the decision is sound. Remember that your mind will attempt to trick you with what it feels it wants as a valid argument against actual problems that could arise. Unless there is some sort of danger, take your time with this. Save up enough money and then save up a bit extra if you can. There's always something I forgot to factor into how much I would need.
The search:Finding a place can be tricky. If the apartment or house is safe for your health and matches your price range, GO FOR IT! That is what you need to look for. Who cares about the current state of it's aesthetics (Not you, Robin
). Put up a couple pieces of your favorite art or decoration (preferably Boards of Canada posters) and any wall can look good. I lived in a room with bare plywood floors and unpainted walls, straight drywall. I put up my TCH promo poster, my Pink Floyd poster and an old stained painting of a forested mountain I bought for a dollar at a yard sale and loved that room. I'm not saying this would be a problem for you in particular, but so many people are too worried about how their place looks to people with more. So they pass up a proper apartment or spend what they don't have. Terrible decision.
Finding work:If you're still dealing with any health troubles, finding a job is even trickier. Fortunate for me, I was eventually able to go onto a disability program, so it's not really a worry for me so much anymore. Although if my health continues to improve, I could see myself getting a part-time job. But what's much more important than the amount you get paid over your bare needs, is how the job affects your health. If one job pays you a lot per hour, but comes with a lot of stress, and another job pays you less per hour but is something you enjoy doing much more, then choosing the less stressful work means you'll be able to work longer at the job without quitting or being fired. Burning yourself out is never worth the extra money you would get. Get a job you can keep and you'll end up making more in the long run, and without the involuntary fasting between jobs.
I hope I'm not coming across as telling you what to do in any way. I'm just trying to help out while speaking from personal experience. Take the advice or don't. You're your own person, and I would have no right to tell you how to live your life. The only advice I can give you that you can completely rely on, is to not completely rely on any other persons advice. You can go as high a percentage as you want, but you should never reach 100% in trusting anyone's advice. Blind faith is extremely dangerous. Regardless of intentions, people aren't perfect and they make mistakes, even when giving advice. Even if the advice was flawless, there could be a mistake in communication tailored to you specifically, so it could be misunderstood. That said, I can't stress enough: DO A TON OF RESEARCH ON EVERYTHING! Don't rely solely on someone else to educate you. Educate yourself on whats actually important to you in your current situation. Every important decision you make should be made with as little risk as you can manage. Don't just wing an important decision. Learn the risks involved and then learn how to minimize those risks as much as possible. That is the most important advice I can give you right now.
I'm off to bed now. I hope that out of this wall of text something was helpful to you, Valotonin. I have no idea how long it took to write all that... lol.
Goodnight.
