Orbited insanitarium wrote:Sometimes I can't go outside my door without being recognised and jeered at. Occasionally I feel like I'm being boxed in. Everyone seems to know me yet I'm not familiar with them.
Until this point I was having mild insults thrown at me every few days, I feel like I should rise above it.
I went on the bus today to escape my town (just for a few hours), literal milliseconds after after I was dropped off at my stop from the journey back I had slurs shouted at me from across the street. F*ggot f*cker, P*do.
I can't stand it, this is the first time I have been called the first one, which honestly came as a complete shock. Just because I was standing on a isolated spot and there was little people around. Luckily though I faced their back walking insults with a blank, mouth-closed expression. Showing no emotion. Any would likely cause more bother. Gave 'em nothing.
I don't feel like there is much of an upside from this point forward apart from my reaction.
For the past few months, apart from odd occasions, I've been feeling very isolated with no-one to talk to, those that do mostly piss take.
Angry? Not particularly. Just feeling small and wondering how this could escalate. I certainly don't know them, but my appearance is a running joke in this town. I've been belittled by those my age for it. Quirky mannerisms, it's no surprise that I do stand out a mile to them.
It's true, I am feeling low. It's not bad, but this instance has me feeling detached. Not exactly wanting to go for a walk, nor outside right now.
I'm sorry you're feeling down but I'm slightly confused here.
Are you deliberately censoring yourself or am I just out of touch? Because if I'm not, there's a lot to unpack here.